More of the Same, But Oh How it’s Changed
by AngelaCatalano
Summary: Continuation of MSCL from the series finale. Cannon Pairings, No extreme themes, no mature content, unless this goes on for like 20 chapters. First Fic -- be gentle.


**More of the Same, but Oh How it's Changed**

This story begins a few weeks after the last episode of My So Called Life aired. I imagine that being February of 1995, as the last episode aired in January of that year.

**This chapter has been expanded slightly from it's original length as per reviewer request. LuvJordan made the suggestion that I read some fics on another site, and that ruined my life. I couldn't write for weeks realizing how high the bar truly is. That being said, I'm going to see this through, and if it's not any good, then i'll just be glad it's not my day job.

* * *

**Angela's Locker**

_Sometimes I feel like I am watching my life like a sitcom, and it, like, doesn't have a laugh track, but I feel like it should, and I can't do the laughing, so everything just comes out dramatic and kind of morbid. Like this thing with Brian and the letter. It should be funny, right? Your childhood friend writes the most romantic thing you have ever read, and the guy you are "in love with" gives it to you, and now both of them like… want you to do what? Choose? It should be funny. Only no one is laughing, and I don't know how to laugh about it… so it's just hanging there… waiting for someone to have a reaction._

Rickie is nervously looking from one end of the hall to the other, while Angela fishes in her locker for her history text book.

"They are both staring at you… like, again."

On one end Brian Krakow does a poor job of hiding his stare while he pretends to not be able to fit his sweater in his locker. On the other end Jordan is leaning at the foot of the stairs, arms wrapped around his body with one eye closed, the other focused on Angela.

Angela slams the locker door. "Argh! I just can't take it! I just want to scream 'Go get your own lives!'"

"Aw, but Angela—you are their whole lives—at least right this minute", Rayanne says as she saunters over.

Angela grabs her bags and marches off down the hallway.

"Why do you have to push her like that?" Rickie asks. "Why can't you just say you are sorry?" He follows off after Angela.

"Because what if she still doesn't forgive me?" Rayanne whispers—but they are already out of sight.

* * *

**Katimski's Class**

Both boys continue to stare at Angela in their obvious/non-obvious ways.

_I know that I shouldn't be mad at Brian…he told me how he felt… sort of. I mean, how can you be mad at someone for saying how they feel? But like, that's exactly the point— he knows how I feel too… and that I don't feel that way for him. I told him that I was sorry, and like wanted to be a better friend to him, but he wasn't interested in my friendship… and that hurt me too._

"Today we begin a look at John Knowles first published novel, _A Separate Peace_, a story of friendship, competition, betrayal, and ultimately human nature. I'd like each of you to read the first two chapters by tomorrow's class, and prepare for me a few paragraphs about how Finny and Gene become best friends, and how your best friend became your best friend. Compare and contrast, people! Compare and contrast! We will be sharing these aloud come tomorrow!"

The bell rings, and Angela jumps up out of her seat, hoping to flee any awkward conversation between her and Jordan/Brian. As she reaches the door, Sharon calls her name, and she turns looking frustrated at being caught.

"What is it, Sharon?"

"Jeez, Chase, I was just wondering if you were feeling conflicted about the assignment and maybe wanted to discuss… but I guess not."

"Oh…umm, so who are you going to write about?" Angela asks distractedly.

"Well, here's the thing Chase-face—I was thinking I would write about you."

"Oh? Oh. Ok… um thanks…" Angela is taken aback for a moment. _I've been so caught up in my Brian/Jordan drama, and my Jordan/Rayanne drama, I had completely forgotten about my Sharon/Rayanne drama from earlier in the year. And what about Rickie? This assignment could not have come at a worse time… do I even have a best friend?_

"I mean, you don't have to write about me if you don't want to… that's why I figured I would ask—"

"Angela?" Jordan had come up behind her while she was distracted by Sharon's announcement.

Angela is startled and looks around anxiously for an escape route.

_I have been avoiding Jordan since the night with the letter. It's not his fault; I just haven't been able to wrap my head around what he said that night. Like, it was so easy for me to accept that he wrote the letter and to forgive him then—but having him tell me he didn't write it, and hearing him stumble with his own words through an explanation of why he asked Brian to write it just threw me. _

Angela still hasn't responded, so Jordan asks again. "Angela, can we talk?"

_It's so weird to hear him say he wants to _talk. _It's a foreign language coming from Jordan Catalano._

"I have to go to Bio… if I miss any more classes I'll fall behind and it's not like Brian will cover for me…"

Jordan flinches at the mention of Brian. "Yeah, ok I guess… I should go to class too…"

_More foreign language._

Jordan walks off down the hallway in the opposite direction from Angela and Sharon. Sharon starts chatting away at Angela, but she doesn't hear any of it, lost in her own world.

* * *

**Girl's Bathroom**

Rickie and Delia are at the mirror gossiping about the new track uniforms and Sharon is reapplying her lipstick.

"So what are you going to do about the assignment for Katimski's?" Sharon asks Rickie.

"Oh… I like… hadn't thought about it"

"I mean, you're like going to write about Rayanne Graff, right? 'Cause like, Angela wouldn't give me a straight answer… and God knows who Krakow is going to write his about…"

"Why would it matter who Brian is going to write about?" Delia Fischer snaps.

"Well, I mean, I don't want to like gossip or anything, but like, Brian's a really lonely guy and like when we were kids the three of us were friends, I mean… Angela, Brian and I, and now it's like with what is going on with him and Angela, I worry he has no friends left."

Delia looks embarrassed for her tone, but before she can say anything else one of the stall doors flies open and Rayanne Graff strides out.

"And don't forget that little call he made to the Teen Crisis Hotline on Christmas—"

"Rayanne! That's private! You know we aren't supposed to talk about the calls we take… it's like a breach of confidentiality or something!" Sharon screams at her.

Rickie and Delia exchange nervous looks, and Rickie says, "Maybe I'll talk to Katimski about this assignment… I mean, I'm sure it seemed like a good idea… but someone could really get hurt here."

Sharon and Delia nod, following Rickie out of the bathroom. Rayanne yells after them.

"Hey Rickie! You never answered Sharon's question! You're gonna write about me, right?"

The door swings shut and she's left alone.

* * *

** Tutoring Room**

Brian and Jordan sit at a pair of desks facing one another, staring uncomfortably. Brian clears his throat.

"Um, so did you, like, read the chapters for Katimski's?"

Jordan blinks a few times, and sits back before answering, as if coming out of a daze. "Um…yeah. I um… it's about two kids that, like, hang out together?"

"Right, they're best friends-- it's kind of the point of the assignment."

"I guess."

"So, why do you think they are friends? So you can like, write the assignment."

Jordan is quiet for a moment, and then says "They are friends because they are in the same place, and they, like, do the same things… but like… they are best friends because… I don't know."

"Well they both jump in the river, and they are the only ones, like the leaders, so they have more in common with one another than the other boys" Brian rationalizes.

"Yeah but that seems so…"

"Superficial?"

"…lame. What's superficial?"

"Like, they are only friends because of unimportant things… the things that matter least."

"Oh."

After a long silence Jordan speaks again. "Like, I understand how you can have friends that are your friends because you do the same thing… but I guess like… to be friends with someone, when you want the same thing… I just don't get it."

Brian looks extremely uncomfortable, and is about to say something, then Jordan asks "How do you spell that word you said before… superficial?"

* * *

**Chase House**

The school bus pulls up outside the Chase house, and Angela gets off. Brian lags behind. He is watching Angela, but making sure not to get too close to her. The bus pulls away, and he is still standing on Angela's side of the street, not crossing to his own house. Angela looks back when she gets up the steps, and their eyes meet. Angela looks like she might say something, but Graham opens the front door.

"Angela! I thought I heard the bus. I need someone to taste this cream sauce-- I think it's missing something…" he trails off as he heads back towards the kitchen.

Angela looks back across the street for a moment, but Brian is already gone.

Angela sits at the kitchen table while her father bustles around the kitchen. Her notebook is open in front of her, and she is waving her copy of _A Separate Peace_ back and forth absent mindedly. Graham starts to vent his thoughts to her about the naming of the restaurant and what Hallie Lowenthal thinks, but it is drowned out by Angela's thoughts.

_How do you know what a best friend is anyway? Aren't there people, who like, don't have them? If a friend is just someone you have the same interests as and hang out with, does that mean with a best friend you have to have something more – like this thing, a connection or something, that you like, both acknowledge? Can someone be your best friend even if you don't hang out with them? Is your best friend just the one who you care about most… who cares about you most? Maybe I'm just being too introspective about this. _

Angela tunes back into what her dad is saying.

"…and Hallie wants something abstract, and I told her that my cooking is straightforward, why do we need some crazy name that has nothing to do with food, and she said—"

"Dad?" Angela interrupts, "How do you know what kind of relationship you have with a person? I mean, like, is there some way of determining like the levels of friendship?"

Graham looks taken aback for a moment. "Well just because you feel a certain way towards someone doesn't mean you have to have a relationship. Any level of relationship… or umm friendship. Friendships are complicated, and just because you are attracted to your friend…" He trails off when he sees Angela's confused face.

"You mean this isn't about Jordan?"

"Ugh! God! Can't I just ask something without you hunting for some hidden meaning? Why do you and Mom always have to do that?" Angela shouts, sounding exasperated.

"Do what, exactly?" Patty asks as she enters the kitchen through the back door, grocery bag and keys in hand.

Angela rolls her eyes, and grabs her books. "I'll just do my homework upstairs."

"Care to explain what that was all about?" Patty asks giving Graham an accusatory look.

"Don't look at me! I can never understand what you women are thinking. Just today Hallie said to me--"

Patty rolls her eyes, and is about to say something, but they are interrupted by the phone ringing instead. Patty puts up a finger to Graham, and puts the phone to her ear.

"Chase residence… oh hello Rickie… yes, I'll get her…" Patty walks to the foot of the stairs, and yells up "Angela! Phone for you!"

As Patty reenters the kitchen, Graham starts again "So about what Hallie said…"

Angela jogs down the stairs and picks up the phone in the living room. "Hello?" she says tentatively.

_"Hey Angela, it's me." _Rickie begins. Angela sighs audibly with relief. "_Worried it was someone else?"_

"Yeah… but I guess I shouldn't have worried—I mean, Brian isn't speaking to me, and Jordan… well he doesn't really call… he just shows up."

"_Yeah…"_ Rickie stretches out the word, not really knowing what to add to that. "_So, um, listen… about the Katimski assignment—"_

"Ugh! Could not have come at a worse time. Sharon cornered me and asked me who I was writing it about, and honestly, I don't really know. I think I would rather take a zero on the assignment than have to sit down and dwell on the fact that I don't have a best friend. I mean… why does everyone have to have a best friend? Can't you have like a group of friends? Why does one have to be best?"

"_Angela… until like a month ago you did have a best friend. I think you should write about Rayanne. I know what you are going to say… but I talked to Katimski, and he kind of, like, understood… or whatever." _Rickie rushes on before Angela can interrupt. _ "He also said we won't have to say who the person is that we wrote about, if we don't want to or whatever, so like not to worry about that… but he explained that the friends in the book don't always like… do the right thing to one another… and that like… they were still best friends in the beginning and that's what this assignment is about… so I think you should do yours about Rayanne." _He finishes taking a big breath.

Angela is quiet for a few seconds. Then: "Thanks, Rickie. You… are a better friend than any of us deserve." They say their goodbyes, and Angela hangs up the phone.


End file.
